When the Problem is Not the Problem

It has been said that the golden rule of business is that he who has the gold makes the rules.

While position has its privileges, it also has its pitfalls. In the critical area of communication, few managers have the luxury of honest and consistent feedback. In fact, the higher individuals go in the organization, the more difficult it is to get an accurate assessment about the job they are doing or the staff they manage.

Recognize the uniqueness of your position.
If you’re the boss, you’re going to get more attention to your preferences, quicker responses to your requests, and heartier approval of your ideas. Don’t assume this means your communication style is more effective, your ideas have more merit, or your customers and colleagues deal with you as they do with others.
Those in less powerful positions want to win your goodwill, so you must interpret their words and behavior accordingly. To find out how you or your department really functions, you may have to play a fly on the wall.

Remove status symbols and power barriers.
Be aware of the kind of power you have with different groups. You have positional power if by your mere position as boss, director, or dean you can impose your will on others. You have reward power if you can positively influence what will happen to another person. You have coercive power if you can negatively influence another’s future. You have referent power if you can influence others through your personality. You have expert power over someone if you have knowledge they need. Knowing your power over others forces you to take your interactions with them more seriously.

To minimize this power and relate to others on equal footing, remove the status reminders. You may want to sit beside them, not across the desk from them. You could shun formality and introduce yourself by name and forget the title. Or you could join them in the training center lounge rather than invite them to the executive floor.

Rapport-building and honest communication hinge on such small steps.

Relate to others on their level.
Before you speak, make sure what you’re about to say doesn’t imply your superiority over the other person. The following comments reveal much about someone’s management style and attitude: “I want you to meet Jana Garcia, who works for me” versus “I want you to meet Jana Garcia, who works with me.” “Haven’t I asked you not to bother me with those kinds of details?” versus “I’d prefer you handle those kinds of details without involving me.”

For executives, honest communication?whether soliciting new ideas, preferences, or genuinely helpful feedback?flows or dribbles according to their recognition of their own position and power and that of others. The higher, the harder.


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© Dianna Booher, Booher Consultants, Inc.
Author of 42 books (Simon & Schuster/Pocket, Warner, and McGraw-Hill), Dianna Booher, CSP, CPAE, delivers keynotes, breakout sessions, and training on communication and life-balance issues. Her latest books: Speak with Confidence®, Your Signature Life®, Your Signature Work®, E-Writing, and Communicate with Confidence®. For more information on Dianna and her programs, visit www.diannabooher.com or contact her firm, Booher Consultants, Inc., at 800-342-6621.

Communication Skills Articles