Making a Big Deal Out of Small Talk

Not all speech is created equal. Keynote addresses, press conferences, sermons, lectures, gossip—they definitely do not evoke the same response.

While the higher profile forms of communication make all the headlines, don’t underestimate the potential of small talk. Just because it’s small doesn’t mean it can’t have big impact.

More and more, those seemingly insignificant discussions on golf courses, at cafeterias, and around copy machines are making their way into boardrooms and executive suites.

Choose the right person.
While some people dislike any involvement or contact at all, considering it superfluous and distracting, others may welcome an idle word or two, seeing it as a way of making business and the office more personal. Fellow attendees at a workshop, collaborators on a project, or employees at a year-end party can all make good small talk companions.

Choosing the right person can mean the difference between five wasted minutes and a partnership that could last years. Knowing whom to approach isn’t difficult; simply read the body-language signals and respect their wishes.

Choose the right time.
When thinking of entering into small talk, be sensitive to the other person’s mood and circumstances. What may be a coffee break for you may be a pressing deadline for someone else.

On an airplane, when your seatmate is obviously preoccupied, leave him or her alone. Neither would you try to engage someone in small talk when the person is dashing down the hallway to make a meeting.

And if the CEO has unexpectedly called you in for a “little chat,” this is not the time to take the lead. Let him or her dictate the topic and pace with which you get down to business.

Choose the right medium.
If timing is everything, then selecting the right medium ranks a close second.

Each means of communication, be it in person or via modern technology, has its own strengths and weaknesses. Marshall McLuhan, the mass media guru of the ’60s, contended that the medium was the message. Knowing the uniqueness of each will help you use them more effectively.

The greatest danger regarding media involves those that aren’t face to face—most notably, the telephone. Since you’re not present to read their signals or note their feedback, you have no way to gauge their interest or availability.

Know where you’re going with the call and be prepared to get there. Don’t assume that people expect or welcome a little chitchat before you begin your business.

Choose the right topic.
The “what” of your small talk can be as crucial as the “who,” “where,” “when,” and “why.”

General topics like vacations, hobbies, current projects, and sports are both interesting and conversational. On the other hand, controversial issues like religion, politics, and race relations are not as appropriate for small talk and are better left to CNN or Meet the Press. Remember, your goal is to build rapport, not solve a world crisis. You may win an argument but lose an opportunity.

Small talk means having a little loose change in your pocket. Like quarters at a pay phone or dollars at a tollbooth, it’ll come in handy when you least expect it. The trick is in knowing when to jiggle it, spend it, or save it.



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© Dianna Booher, Booher Consultants, Inc.
Author of 42 books (Simon & Schuster/Pocket, Warner, and McGraw-Hill), Dianna Booher, CSP, CPAE, delivers keynotes, breakout sessions, and training on communication and life-balance issues. Her latest books: Speak with Confidence®, Your Signature Life®, Your Signature Work®, E-Writing, and Communicate with Confidence®. For more information on Dianna and her programs, visit www.diannabooher.com or contact her firm, Booher Consultants, Inc., at 800-342-6621.

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