How Important is Your Appearance?

The face and eyes are eloquent message conveyers. Someone has estimated that humans are capable of 20,000 different facial expressions. How do you measure up?

The most pleasant, and usually the most advantageous, is a smile. A smile can be the little bit of sugar that helps the medicine go down. It is always more pleasant to deal with people who smile than with those who frown.

The psalmist tells us that the eye is "the light of the body." The unvoiced testimony it offers is often the most eloquent.

Most people interpret a firm, steady gaze as a sign of sincerity. Darting, shifty eyes are interpreted as signs of untrustworthiness. A quick wink can convey a secret message silently across a crowded room. A coquettish look can set a heart to fluttering.

The ability to look someone in the eye is a sign of high self-esteem. When children fib to their parents, they usually look at the floor. It's hard to have self-esteem while you're telling a lie.

Steady eye contact is also a sign of assertiveness. People who consistently avoid the eyes of those to whom they speak are inviting others to treat them as doormats.

A Baptist minister in Moscow once told an American reporter an interesting story about the Russian poet Evgeny Yevtushenko.

Visiting a wealthy American, the poet noticed a magnificent moose head mounted on the wall of the home.

"How could you bear to shoot such a magnificent animal?" Yevtushenko asked.

"It was easy," said his host. "He didn't look me in the eye. If he had looked me in the eye, I couldn't have shot him."

A word of caution, though: Different cultures respond to eye contact in different ways. A gaze that may seem friendly to an American may be considered intrusive by an Asian.

Even in the American culture, steady eye contact can be overdone. Most people feel uncomfortable when they're the objects of fixed, steady gazes. The most effective eye contact consists of a relaxed, steady gaze that is broken off intermittently. A good way to develop this habit is to look at someone and slowly count (in your head!) to three. This is usually the appropriate length of time to sustain a gaze in one-on-one conversations.

Sometimes, angry conversation leads to mutual glares in which each party tries to outstare the other. Don't be led into this kind of contest. If you find your eyes locked in a stare with an angry customer, it's okay to break contact first. In fact, one theory holds that the dominant person will break contact first, since the dominant person takes the lead in all things.

CLOTHING AND GROOMING

Among the first things people notice about you is the way you dress and the way you groom yourself.

Many highly creative people affect a casual indifference toward their personal appearance, but in reality, they are making a purposeful statement. They are saying, in effect, "I'm so good at what I do that I don't have to dress for success."

Henry David Thoreau was such a person.

"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes," he wrote.

If you plan to spend your life in the seclusion of a place like Walden Pond, follow Thoreau's advice. If you want to make it on Wall Street or Main Street, pay careful attention to the clothes you wear and the visual impact you have on others.

When dressing for the business world, follow the standard advice: Dress for inclusion. Look at what the people one or two steps up the corporate ladder from you are wearing and be guided by their tastes.

That's about the closest thing to universal advice that can be given in the realm of dress. Fads and fashions come and go, and what's in today may be passČ tomorrow. And the fabric of American culture is quite varied. String ties and cowboy boots for men may be perfectly acceptable business attire in Fort Worth, but they would mark you as eccentric in Boston. Three-piece pinstripes may be the uniform of the day on Wall Street, but may be considered a bit stuffy on Hollywood Boulevard. And if that's true of America, it's even truer of other parts of the world. Wherever you are -- in London or Sydney, in Singapore or Luxembourg -- follow the fashion lead of the successful people in your business.

The perennial choice for the businessman in the industrialized nations is the gray or blue suit, with lighter shades in warm weather, darker ones in cool weather. Muted pinstripes seem never to go out of style. Brown suits are generally regarded as less authoritative than blue or gray ones.

Women have greater latitude for individuality in fashions, but the general rule still applies. In most businesses, it's best to avoid extremes. Seductive or coquettish outfits may draw admiring stares, but they won't enhance your reputation as a businesswoman.

Solid colors in women's clothing convey a message of seriousness and character. Plaids and prints are more whimsical. In the business office, successful women may be seen wearing suits, dresses, coordinates, and skirts with blazers. Different colors flatter different women. Find your best colors and stick with them.

Shoes should always be shined and in good repair. Adlai Stevenson, the American statesman, may be remembered for the famous photograph showing the hole in the sole of his shoe. But he is also remembered as the loser of two presidential elections.

If your job calls for a briefcase, invest in top-quality. It will contribute strongly to your image of success. If you need to have a pen in your breast pocket, make it a high-quality and attractive one. Avoid cheap plastic pens, and never wear pocket liners for pens.

For men, beards are a matter of taste. Make up your mind whether you want one. Don't go around looking as if you've forgotten to shave for the past couple of days. It may work for a Hollywood actor or the leader of a stateless people, but not for a sales and marketing professional. If you choose to wear a beard, keep it neatly trimmed.

Both men and women should avoid extremes of hair style. Again, use the look cultivated by the most successful people in your field as a guide, and adapt it to your own physical features.

ARTICLE TAGLINE FOR NIDO QUBEIN

Nido Qubein is an international speaker and consultant.
Visit his website at www.nidoqubein.com
write to Creative Services, Inc.,
P. O. Box 6008, High Point, NC 27262
or call 1-800-989-3010.

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