TUNNEY-SIDE-OF-THE-STREET

#103 December 18 2006
Welcome to this week's message from the Tunney-Side-Of-The-Street. You are encouraged to share this with fellow workers, family and friends.

After further review -

I knew at age 12 what I wanted to be when I grew up- a coach. Not sure that the fact my dad was a coach was a guiding influence, and although he was my first role model and mentor, he never pushed me in that direction. In fact, his thoughts for me were "doctor", "lawyer" not teaching/coaching.

Yet, my mind was made up. So for 10 years (Junior and Senior HS and College) I observed my teachers and coaches to draw on for direction. I learned from them all - some were good teachers, some of them were not - at least their methods were not. I would say (to myself) "I like what he/she did" or "When I get a chance to teach, I am not going to do it that way". Some teachers were strict (disciplinarians), some were more passive (the "I hope you like me" kind).

The question put to a panel of "experts" on a television program recently was, "Should a coach be "a players-coach or a disciplinarian"? A players-coach can have a variety of descriptions, but sometimes it means trying to be a "good-guy" letting incidents "slide" until they are almost out of control or are out of control.

The disciplinarian type coach? Well, my Dad comes to mind. He was strict - but fair. If his decisions "hurt my feelings", that was ok, because his attitude was always one of caring. I knew that if, for example, when he would say, "Be home by 11:00 pm" he didn't mean walk in the door at 11:00 he meant a quarter 'till (10:45 pm)! And I knew he meant a quarter 'till! The terms: a players' coach vs. a disciplinarian are mutually incompatible. I believe a good coach needs to have some of each. The teachers I observed and admired had both - a friend with understanding when needed or "lay down the law" as needed. Many teachers and coaches in today's world have both; others have difficulty playing both roles.

Perhaps my dad gave me the best advice when he said: "In every teaching/coaching situation, ask yourself three questions:

1) What is best for the person (student/player) right now?

2) What is best for the group/team right now?

3) What would you do/want if this person were your child?"

Will you keep those questions in mind as you search for that balance between players-coach and disciplinarian?

Look for my book
It's the Will, Not the Skill
Principles and philosophies of success
For more information about Jim Tunney, go to www.jimtunney.com
Visit my blog for the entire collection of my Tunney Sides:
http://tunney-side-of-the-street.blogspot.com

ARTICLE TAGLINE FOR JIM TUNNEY, Ed.D., CSP, CPAE

Copyright © 2003 Jim Tunney. All rights reserved.
You can visit Jim's website at http://www.jimtunney.com

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